Life is a Jug of Beer with a Girl that Broke Your Heart
Life isnt really all that funny. I'm thinking that whoever originally coined that pearl of a cliche was being a little short-sighted. Life can be funny, but i dont think life is necessarily keeping the majority of us in stitches these days... The most that i'd be willing to concede, is that perhaps "Life is clever". I've had more than a few beers with Life, in fact, and she was always pretty droll and somber... sure, she did have a great ass... and we always respected each other... but in the end, we never really saw eye-to-eye on things.
Many, many days from now, when I look back and think about the time I spent with Life, I'll probably think that life was sort of amusing in a strange way, but i'm certainly not gonna forget what a pain in the ass Life was either.
And Life was in fine form last night...
Apparently, Life thought it would be funny if i went for a beer with an old friend, who i may or may not have dated, and who i was pretty convinced i'd still be with right now. Life, ofcourse, knows all about my plight, and the difficulty I've had putting that little flame behind me, so life waited until i had no plans one evening, waited for my phone to ring, then kicked back with a plate of nachos and a cocktail, and enjoyed the show.
The combination of consistently and simultaneously making me laugh and want to have sex has only been really abundant in one girl i've ever been with, and she had just invited me me for a drink. Despite her faults, and the fact that she tore out my heart and stepped on it... several times... she's possibly the most engaging person i've ever met, and one of the prettiest... And i've missed her. I've definitely tried not to, and i'll deny it, but i have missed her. I dont pine all that much anymore, and i like to believe that i dont necessarily want her back, but there are less than a handful of people who havent been in my life for a long time that i still miss on a daily basis, and I've reserved a spot for her on that list.
and so, i went for a drink with her.
The way things ended between us was ugly (and i was definitely on the recieving end of the ugly), but i've always tried to rationalize and sort of forget about about that, focussing more on the good times. Back in those days, i'd see Life, pat her on the back and tell her how funny she was. "Good ol' Life", i'd say, "you've definitely got some issues, but youre alright".
Last night, as i was sitting on that barstool, drinking my beer, listening to some pretty mediocre music and trying not to admire how pretty the girl i was sitting with was, or how much i liked her new haircut... when something in the back of my head subliminally threw out that all too familiar phrase...
Life's alot of things, I thought, but life isnt all that funny. Sure, Life has provided us with some hilarious moments, such as "man gets hit in the groin by football", but i dont feel that Life's ever truly sustained a steady, reliable level of comedy.
Perhaps "Life is a Pain in the Ass" just wasnt quite optomistic enough.
"Life is like a Box of Choclates" has gotten a lot of press in the past, but it has a few too many gaping holes in it to be all that credible. There's a pretty wide range of interpretation there, from the choclate addict, to the poor schmuck who's mortally allergic to choclate. And while a box of choclates may generally have positive connotations in our culture, i think we've all encountered that one really shitty box of choclates full of crap that noone likes. "Life is like a box of choclates" just doesnt quite pin it down accurately enough. And contrary to old Mrs. Gump's philosophy, occassionally you know exactly what youre going to get.
I knew long before i got to that old neighborhood pub that i was going to be happy to see her again, that she'd make me laugh, and that she was probably going to look really pretty, and that i'd inevitably sneak in at least one sarcastic and slightly bitter remark about her dumping me. I also knew that i'd probably be a little sad when the night was over, and i knew that i'd spend a good part of the next day thinking about her. i knew that i'd be really angry at some point today, and then sad, and that i would inevitably pack my gym bag at some point, then sit on the couch with a six pack of beer and tell myself i'd go the gym tomorrow (i definitely underestimated how tasty those beers would be).
I also had a hunch i wasnt going to have to pay for my beer.
When you dump someone, it is common courtesy to pay for as many as their first three beers if you choose to take them out for beer afterwards. There are certain schools of thought that would have you beleive you shouldnt pay for a single beer if you are the scorned party, but that really is relationship specific.
There was a point I remember being as lost in the moment as i could possibly be, simultanously remembering every fantastic conversation we had ever had, and every touching moment we ever shared. But, unfortunately i suppose, it was right about that time, that the combined voice of every logical, rational, and pessimistic thread of my being reminded me that she wasnt mine anymore, and forced me to reflect on that fateful day less than 24 hours after we broke up, when i saw her car in front of her new boyfriend's house... that imagery is generally how i snap myself out of any blissful longing period i might encounter. if i could have taken a picture, that single image would perfectly and intensely sum up pain, misery, deceit and a complete loss of hope and faith. i would frame that picture and keep it for the artistic geniuos and merit, but it would have to go in the back of the closet, cause it would kill me to have to see it again.
And so, in hindsight, I offer up "Life is a Jug of Beer with the Girl that Broke Your Heart" as the Life metaphor of the next generation; Its full of a lot of nice memories, and at least a few intensely shitty ones... its awkward at times, but not entirely unpleasant... you find yourself desiring that which is completely beyond your means... the constant glimmer of hope is always present, but overwhelmingly unrealistic... someone else will inevitably end up with the things you want... and you may not regret it at the end, but you'll probably be forced to wonder if there was something more enjoyable, or at least productive, that you could have done with your time...
I'm thinking that there are probably a lot of us who spend more time scowling at life than laughing at it. And as good of a time as you can have without going home with the girl that broke your heart, you will probably be more inclined to scowl at the memory of that evening than laugh at it. It might not be a bitter scowl, it might be a more of a "why did she have to look so good" scowl, but its a scowl none the less.
The greatest moments of my life havent necessarily been associated with any sort of achievment or accomplishment. And I cant exactly describe the moments i've been the happiest in my life, nor can i remember them all. Probably because theyre not quite as vivd as the more painful ones. They've represented contentment, hope, faith and some degree of heightened joy. Theyre those moments when life doesnt feel quite as heavy... the nights when you stay up all night because you dont want them to end. The days you forget to worry about that next mortgage payment, the bad relationship, shitty job, or sick relative... possibly because youre too busy drinking beer and arguing about hockey or music or the best way to catch a mouse that is too intelligent for any mouse trap ever devised by man. Theyre the times you cant stop laughing at things youre sure noone else would find funny. And... theyre those fleeting moments that youre too lost in the moment to think about all the unfunny shit that life is about to deal you.
So if we choose to share a jug of beer with the girl that broke our heart, who can blame us? Because no situation better represents life than the hour youre about to spend with that girl. Sure you might rehash some pretty shitty times in your mind, but its also a reminder of those times when everything seemed like it might just go as planned... those mornings when you woke up with a beutiful girl sleeping beside you, a dog asleep on the end of the bed, some grass to cut, and a dinner with the girlfriends parents that you got to skip because it was your best friends birthday. We spend a lot of time, money and energy to create those moments when we get to escape from everything shitty in life, and therefore we'll ineveitably spend a lot of time, money and energy to re-live them. A lot of the best times of our lives are the times we spend sitting around talking about the best times of our lives, and so, i guess, there are those of us willing to endure some pain if it means we get to relive those times.
We drag ourselves through a whole lot of shit to experience the all too infrequent good times life has to offer. So the next time I'm sitting in a bar and see some guy awkwardly hugging a girl he's obviously attracted to, but not "with", with a jug of beer on the table and a genuine but almost forced smile on his face, i'm going to raise my glass to that poor fucker, and silently remind myself that that's what its all about... its not funny, its not a beach, and it sure as shit isnt a box of choclates. Sitting at that table, confused, hopeful, sad, happy, a little optomistic, but mostly pessimistic, with both the greatest and worst moments of your life flashing through your brain... thats Life.
Many, many days from now, when I look back and think about the time I spent with Life, I'll probably think that life was sort of amusing in a strange way, but i'm certainly not gonna forget what a pain in the ass Life was either.
And Life was in fine form last night...
Apparently, Life thought it would be funny if i went for a beer with an old friend, who i may or may not have dated, and who i was pretty convinced i'd still be with right now. Life, ofcourse, knows all about my plight, and the difficulty I've had putting that little flame behind me, so life waited until i had no plans one evening, waited for my phone to ring, then kicked back with a plate of nachos and a cocktail, and enjoyed the show.
The combination of consistently and simultaneously making me laugh and want to have sex has only been really abundant in one girl i've ever been with, and she had just invited me me for a drink. Despite her faults, and the fact that she tore out my heart and stepped on it... several times... she's possibly the most engaging person i've ever met, and one of the prettiest... And i've missed her. I've definitely tried not to, and i'll deny it, but i have missed her. I dont pine all that much anymore, and i like to believe that i dont necessarily want her back, but there are less than a handful of people who havent been in my life for a long time that i still miss on a daily basis, and I've reserved a spot for her on that list.
and so, i went for a drink with her.
The way things ended between us was ugly (and i was definitely on the recieving end of the ugly), but i've always tried to rationalize and sort of forget about about that, focussing more on the good times. Back in those days, i'd see Life, pat her on the back and tell her how funny she was. "Good ol' Life", i'd say, "you've definitely got some issues, but youre alright".
Last night, as i was sitting on that barstool, drinking my beer, listening to some pretty mediocre music and trying not to admire how pretty the girl i was sitting with was, or how much i liked her new haircut... when something in the back of my head subliminally threw out that all too familiar phrase...
Life's alot of things, I thought, but life isnt all that funny. Sure, Life has provided us with some hilarious moments, such as "man gets hit in the groin by football", but i dont feel that Life's ever truly sustained a steady, reliable level of comedy.
Perhaps "Life is a Pain in the Ass" just wasnt quite optomistic enough.
"Life is like a Box of Choclates" has gotten a lot of press in the past, but it has a few too many gaping holes in it to be all that credible. There's a pretty wide range of interpretation there, from the choclate addict, to the poor schmuck who's mortally allergic to choclate. And while a box of choclates may generally have positive connotations in our culture, i think we've all encountered that one really shitty box of choclates full of crap that noone likes. "Life is like a box of choclates" just doesnt quite pin it down accurately enough. And contrary to old Mrs. Gump's philosophy, occassionally you know exactly what youre going to get.
I knew long before i got to that old neighborhood pub that i was going to be happy to see her again, that she'd make me laugh, and that she was probably going to look really pretty, and that i'd inevitably sneak in at least one sarcastic and slightly bitter remark about her dumping me. I also knew that i'd probably be a little sad when the night was over, and i knew that i'd spend a good part of the next day thinking about her. i knew that i'd be really angry at some point today, and then sad, and that i would inevitably pack my gym bag at some point, then sit on the couch with a six pack of beer and tell myself i'd go the gym tomorrow (i definitely underestimated how tasty those beers would be).
I also had a hunch i wasnt going to have to pay for my beer.
When you dump someone, it is common courtesy to pay for as many as their first three beers if you choose to take them out for beer afterwards. There are certain schools of thought that would have you beleive you shouldnt pay for a single beer if you are the scorned party, but that really is relationship specific.
There was a point I remember being as lost in the moment as i could possibly be, simultanously remembering every fantastic conversation we had ever had, and every touching moment we ever shared. But, unfortunately i suppose, it was right about that time, that the combined voice of every logical, rational, and pessimistic thread of my being reminded me that she wasnt mine anymore, and forced me to reflect on that fateful day less than 24 hours after we broke up, when i saw her car in front of her new boyfriend's house... that imagery is generally how i snap myself out of any blissful longing period i might encounter. if i could have taken a picture, that single image would perfectly and intensely sum up pain, misery, deceit and a complete loss of hope and faith. i would frame that picture and keep it for the artistic geniuos and merit, but it would have to go in the back of the closet, cause it would kill me to have to see it again.
And so, in hindsight, I offer up "Life is a Jug of Beer with the Girl that Broke Your Heart" as the Life metaphor of the next generation; Its full of a lot of nice memories, and at least a few intensely shitty ones... its awkward at times, but not entirely unpleasant... you find yourself desiring that which is completely beyond your means... the constant glimmer of hope is always present, but overwhelmingly unrealistic... someone else will inevitably end up with the things you want... and you may not regret it at the end, but you'll probably be forced to wonder if there was something more enjoyable, or at least productive, that you could have done with your time...
I'm thinking that there are probably a lot of us who spend more time scowling at life than laughing at it. And as good of a time as you can have without going home with the girl that broke your heart, you will probably be more inclined to scowl at the memory of that evening than laugh at it. It might not be a bitter scowl, it might be a more of a "why did she have to look so good" scowl, but its a scowl none the less.
The greatest moments of my life havent necessarily been associated with any sort of achievment or accomplishment. And I cant exactly describe the moments i've been the happiest in my life, nor can i remember them all. Probably because theyre not quite as vivd as the more painful ones. They've represented contentment, hope, faith and some degree of heightened joy. Theyre those moments when life doesnt feel quite as heavy... the nights when you stay up all night because you dont want them to end. The days you forget to worry about that next mortgage payment, the bad relationship, shitty job, or sick relative... possibly because youre too busy drinking beer and arguing about hockey or music or the best way to catch a mouse that is too intelligent for any mouse trap ever devised by man. Theyre the times you cant stop laughing at things youre sure noone else would find funny. And... theyre those fleeting moments that youre too lost in the moment to think about all the unfunny shit that life is about to deal you.
So if we choose to share a jug of beer with the girl that broke our heart, who can blame us? Because no situation better represents life than the hour youre about to spend with that girl. Sure you might rehash some pretty shitty times in your mind, but its also a reminder of those times when everything seemed like it might just go as planned... those mornings when you woke up with a beutiful girl sleeping beside you, a dog asleep on the end of the bed, some grass to cut, and a dinner with the girlfriends parents that you got to skip because it was your best friends birthday. We spend a lot of time, money and energy to create those moments when we get to escape from everything shitty in life, and therefore we'll ineveitably spend a lot of time, money and energy to re-live them. A lot of the best times of our lives are the times we spend sitting around talking about the best times of our lives, and so, i guess, there are those of us willing to endure some pain if it means we get to relive those times.
We drag ourselves through a whole lot of shit to experience the all too infrequent good times life has to offer. So the next time I'm sitting in a bar and see some guy awkwardly hugging a girl he's obviously attracted to, but not "with", with a jug of beer on the table and a genuine but almost forced smile on his face, i'm going to raise my glass to that poor fucker, and silently remind myself that that's what its all about... its not funny, its not a beach, and it sure as shit isnt a box of choclates. Sitting at that table, confused, hopeful, sad, happy, a little optomistic, but mostly pessimistic, with both the greatest and worst moments of your life flashing through your brain... thats Life.
Truely enlightening!
Posted by
Anonymous |
Sun May 07, 03:44:00 AM PDT